Wrap up and where to from here

Well the 12 wbt has finished and I have been reviewing and floundering a little. So thought I would put some thoughts down here.

Sydney weekend.
The end of the 12wbt was in Sydney and a group of us went up from the weekend. I went into the weekend feeling like I shouldn't have been there, I didn't feel like I achieved anything, and felt like a fraud. I was also really struggling with the fact that me going to Sydney was spending money that we really just didn't have. It was nice to get away and enjoy some time out, I got the see some of Sydney and spend time with some amazing ladies who motivate me and support me. It was brilliant being able to enjoy the atmosphere at the workout, everyone was so enthusiastic and pumped, a few of the girls even managed to get up close and personal with Michelle. The party was also great fun, it was so nice to frock up and get silly with the girls, we got a bit messy but had a great time. There are photos and I will get around to posting them at some stage.

Simon and I did a Boot camp session on Sunday and Matt the instructor asked my what I got out of the 12wbt program, I found it really difficult to answer. So I have been thinking about it. My answer to him was I didn't get what I wanted but I did get some other amazing things. What I got out of the program was an amazing support group and some amazing friends. A desire to continue to strive forward, a recognition of the fact that I want to help others with the hard painful fight that is called weight loss (like it is something easy hehehe). I found out that I am stronger than I thought, I can do activite4s that make me uncomfortable, that I can exercises, and that it is not as bad as I thought it was. I wouldn't say I like it, but it is tolerable lol. I also learnt that I have to keep fighting my demons, and looking for the path that works for me.

So what am I going to do now....
Well lately it has been a whole heap of nothing, and excess food.

• Create a motivation/goal/achievement poster.
• Start taking more photos of myself and the kids and of me doing physical stuff.
• Write up a food menu, guidelines around what I want to focus on.
• Diaries an exercise plan
• Try stuff that I haven't before.

Most of all I need to work on believing in me and realising that I am good a the things I do.

Part of that is about developing my photography business, so reviewing tutorials, participating in on line competitions when ever possible and making sure I do some shoots for myself, with my concepts.

I can say it, logically it works, it just doesn't seem to happen, I struggle with why it doesn't translate into action.

So off we go again, plodding along, trying to muddle my way through. It is almost next year so focusing on being the best me I can be.