I hate this

I hate food !!!!!

I hate how hard this is!!!!!!

I hate how frustrated and sad and disappointed this is all making me feel !!!!!

There is a part of me that just wants to give up at the moment. I feel like I am working so hard and not getting anywhere, I do some full on high intensity classes each week and I had been eating right and all to lose just 600grams per week, I don't want that to be my life for the next few years before I can even look at maintenance. But then what other option do I have, get fatter, where to from here, what is the difference between being healthy and being thin.

Maybe that is my defining point, but I want to be thin, I don't want to jiggle, I want to be able to buy clothes and not be worried that I have front bum. I also want to be thin to allow my relationship with Simon to be the best that it can be. So I want to lose weight, do I really want to put in all the hard work. I guess I just never thought it would be this hard, truthfully I have never really given it my all before, and so at the back of my head I always knew why I didn't succeed. This time I really did try, for a while anyway.

The house is feral, such a mess and I hate it, it is really bothering me, but I don't ever manage to keep it clean. Photography I love, but it is not bringing in any money, it bothers me that I am not contributing to the household when things are sooooooooooooo tight. I am feeling it from all levels at the moment.

OK I guess it is time to stop wallowing in my own little pity party.