Hey all
Sorry I have been missing in action a little. No particular reason just busy, and Jhett has been, still is unwell.
My eating hasn't been too bad in the last 6 days. I was doing really well until Sunday when I had some lemon meringue pies and scones with Jam. I realised that I still cant have something sweet or carb loaded as I still have the cravings afterwards. So I am fighting the cravings again...........so much fun.
Exercise hasn't been to bad, I actually exercised off my own back a couple of times which is a big achievement for me.
I am going to try and focus on my body image over the next few weeks and continuing to build my new skills into habits, rather than conscious decisions.
Food has been a bit hit and miss today.
Lunch
Sausage roll
Snack
Apple and Sultana cinnamon scone
Tea
Steak with steamed and grilled veggies
1 x Cappuccino
3 x cup of tea
1 litre of water
So back on track and back to blogging every day. I am working on taking some new photos to post. I will also do some measurements so that I can compare at the end of my journey.
Looking forward to being back on track tomorrow
Danielle xox
Tuesday 28 June 2011
Wednesday 22 June 2011
Wed 22nd of June
Hey everyone
It has been over a week since I started this journey, normally on a weight loss journey people weigh in weekly, so normally I would be giving an update. Ms Melons has suggested (lol not sure suggested is really the right term, maybe demanded/stated or even dictated would be better) that I don't weigh in at all, I just use my clothes to gauge how things are going.
This works in my head for 2 reasons;
One of the things I find hard is to keep my head focused and to not get caught up in the fact that I need to get rid of between 70-80 kg, that is a whole person. When I think about that it becomes hard to keep going, it just seems like it is going to take such a long time, and it is such hard work, isn't it just easier to stay here. I don't ever remember being thin and I have never lived my life doing the things I wanted to, so I don't even have that idea of what to look forward to. So again I just try to ignore it, and focus on being healthy, nourishing my body with un-processed foods and moving my body with exercises that make me sweat and puff.
Breakfast
Protein drink with fibre
Lunch
Salad with beef
Tea
Turkey and veggie meatballs with wholegrain pasta and tomato sauce, all home made, by me, not Simon that chef lol.
Low-Fat custard with jelly and fruit.
1 x cappuccino
2 x cup of tea
2 litres of water
It has been over a week since I started this journey, normally on a weight loss journey people weigh in weekly, so normally I would be giving an update. Ms Melons has suggested (lol not sure suggested is really the right term, maybe demanded/stated or even dictated would be better) that I don't weigh in at all, I just use my clothes to gauge how things are going.
This works in my head for 2 reasons;
- Weigh in becomes a very negative thing for me, I get very anxious about it and if I don't lose enough I can get very demoralised and I can run of the rails because of that. On the other hand there are times when if I have a big lose I can see that as a free pass to eat something that is a negative for my body.
- This change in my life is not just about the weight loss but also about being healthy and so I don't want to make the weight loss the primary focus.
One of the things I find hard is to keep my head focused and to not get caught up in the fact that I need to get rid of between 70-80 kg, that is a whole person. When I think about that it becomes hard to keep going, it just seems like it is going to take such a long time, and it is such hard work, isn't it just easier to stay here. I don't ever remember being thin and I have never lived my life doing the things I wanted to, so I don't even have that idea of what to look forward to. So again I just try to ignore it, and focus on being healthy, nourishing my body with un-processed foods and moving my body with exercises that make me sweat and puff.
Breakfast
Protein drink with fibre
Lunch
Salad with beef
Tea
Turkey and veggie meatballs with wholegrain pasta and tomato sauce, all home made, by me, not Simon that chef lol.
Low-Fat custard with jelly and fruit.
1 x cappuccino
2 x cup of tea
2 litres of water
Tuesday 21 June 2011
Mon 20th of june and Tue 21st of June
Hi all
I got an email from a wonderful friends of mine B the other day. B has been following my blog.
One of the things I wanted to say, and I touched on it a bit the other day when I talked about light bulb moments but B bought it up again.
For me there was never a light bulb moment, there was a series of events that gave me the push to try again, I didn't go into this time knowing that I was going to do it and that I would be able to fight those demons in my head. For me it was just about keeping going, trying new things till I found the thing that worked for me, when I was in the right head space. Head space for me, means I am happy with my life, and for once it is all rather smooth. I have a great group of friends and I feel like I want to actually participate in life, rather than waiting to get thin to live.
I am still scared and that horrible little voice in my head still tries to get the better of me. I worry that I wont get where I want to go, I don't want to use the words succeed or fail it sounds like I am on trial for something. I am changing my life, I am enjoying myself, I am trying to live each day to the full.
In terms of my eating plan, I started with Tony Ferguson, now I just try to eat non-processed foods, or in trendy terms nude foods. Spices are my friends lol. Generally protein drink for breakfast, salad for lunch with a serve of protein, tea with steamed or grilled veggies and a serve of protein. I try to have fruit as my snacks, or yogurt. Water is over 2 litres and I do notice the difference when I don't have it, for me it does seem to help with the sugar cravings as well. I am booked in to see a Dietitian on the 30th so we will see what she has to say. The other thing that really helps me is home-made low fat veggie soup, there is always some in the fridge so when ever I am wanting something I will have some of that.
Exercises, is still something that I don't automatically choose to do, having Ms Melons has been a really positive thing for me, I just tag along with her. In general for me it is about finding ways to be more active in general through out the day.
Mon 20th
Breakfast
Brunch Bar
Lunch
Soup
Tea
Chicken and Veggies
Snacks (now there is a part of me that doesn't want to write this down, but this blog is about being 100% open on honest)
apple
Soup
Yogurt
Dried Fruit
2 x home made mini low fat date muffins
3 x cappuccino's
2 x tea
2.5 litres water
Tuesday 21st of June
Breakfast
Protein shake and fibre
Lunch
Salad and turkey
Tea
Chicken and Veggies
Snacks
Apple
2 x mini date muffins
yogurt and fruit.
3 x tea
2 litres water.
On Monday Ms Melons and I walked around the lake, twice lol, she made me. Man she pushes, not allowed to slack off even when the wind is just about blowing us off the path. lol I feel a little bit achy today but that is more about muscles that being sore. If the rain holds off tomorrow we will go again.
Danielle xox
I got an email from a wonderful friends of mine B the other day. B has been following my blog.
One of the things I wanted to say, and I touched on it a bit the other day when I talked about light bulb moments but B bought it up again.
For me there was never a light bulb moment, there was a series of events that gave me the push to try again, I didn't go into this time knowing that I was going to do it and that I would be able to fight those demons in my head. For me it was just about keeping going, trying new things till I found the thing that worked for me, when I was in the right head space. Head space for me, means I am happy with my life, and for once it is all rather smooth. I have a great group of friends and I feel like I want to actually participate in life, rather than waiting to get thin to live.
I am still scared and that horrible little voice in my head still tries to get the better of me. I worry that I wont get where I want to go, I don't want to use the words succeed or fail it sounds like I am on trial for something. I am changing my life, I am enjoying myself, I am trying to live each day to the full.
In terms of my eating plan, I started with Tony Ferguson, now I just try to eat non-processed foods, or in trendy terms nude foods. Spices are my friends lol. Generally protein drink for breakfast, salad for lunch with a serve of protein, tea with steamed or grilled veggies and a serve of protein. I try to have fruit as my snacks, or yogurt. Water is over 2 litres and I do notice the difference when I don't have it, for me it does seem to help with the sugar cravings as well. I am booked in to see a Dietitian on the 30th so we will see what she has to say. The other thing that really helps me is home-made low fat veggie soup, there is always some in the fridge so when ever I am wanting something I will have some of that.
Exercises, is still something that I don't automatically choose to do, having Ms Melons has been a really positive thing for me, I just tag along with her. In general for me it is about finding ways to be more active in general through out the day.
Mon 20th
Breakfast
Brunch Bar
Lunch
Soup
Tea
Chicken and Veggies
Snacks (now there is a part of me that doesn't want to write this down, but this blog is about being 100% open on honest)
apple
Soup
Yogurt
Dried Fruit
2 x home made mini low fat date muffins
3 x cappuccino's
2 x tea
2.5 litres water
Tuesday 21st of June
Breakfast
Protein shake and fibre
Lunch
Salad and turkey
Tea
Chicken and Veggies
Snacks
Apple
2 x mini date muffins
yogurt and fruit.
3 x tea
2 litres water.
On Monday Ms Melons and I walked around the lake, twice lol, she made me. Man she pushes, not allowed to slack off even when the wind is just about blowing us off the path. lol I feel a little bit achy today but that is more about muscles that being sore. If the rain holds off tomorrow we will go again.
Danielle xox
Sunday 19 June 2011
Sunday 19th of June
I thought I might talk about some of my light bulb moments, or the reasons why I am finding that the weight loss caper is working this time.
1. I read a book called, women, food and god that really clicked with me.
2. My youngest child (10 months) scares me, he is so very very active lol
3. I want my life, the life I dream about in my head and I am sick of talking about it and doing nothing.
I sort of am not sure why it is working this time, it just is, my Dr said come and talk to me when you have decided you actually want to put in the hard work and not be lazy and I am never one to shy away from a challenge lol.
I still worry that my head is playing tricks on me and every day is still a battle to follow the lifestyle change, the negative voice is still strong and the comments of worthlessness and failure still come often. I still have my days where I am feeling down and defeated, I am still working through those, each day is an achievement.
Today I did about 30 mins of cardio, my 5 year old daughter was feeding the baby in the lounge for me while I was doing my cardio, she is funny, she said to me "its OK mum I will feed Jhett so you can do your exercises cos you need to get fit", how can I not succeed when even my 5 yr old is supporting me.
Breakfast
Porridge with dried fruit, low fat milk and honey
Lunch
Salad with Roast beef
Snack
Date muffin
Tea
Extra Lean Chipolata, with veggies
Snack
Berry, jelly and yoghurt
4 x cups of tea
1 x cappuccino
2 litres water
1. I read a book called, women, food and god that really clicked with me.
2. My youngest child (10 months) scares me, he is so very very active lol
3. I want my life, the life I dream about in my head and I am sick of talking about it and doing nothing.
I sort of am not sure why it is working this time, it just is, my Dr said come and talk to me when you have decided you actually want to put in the hard work and not be lazy and I am never one to shy away from a challenge lol.
I still worry that my head is playing tricks on me and every day is still a battle to follow the lifestyle change, the negative voice is still strong and the comments of worthlessness and failure still come often. I still have my days where I am feeling down and defeated, I am still working through those, each day is an achievement.
Today I did about 30 mins of cardio, my 5 year old daughter was feeding the baby in the lounge for me while I was doing my cardio, she is funny, she said to me "its OK mum I will feed Jhett so you can do your exercises cos you need to get fit", how can I not succeed when even my 5 yr old is supporting me.
Breakfast
Porridge with dried fruit, low fat milk and honey
Lunch
Salad with Roast beef
Snack
Date muffin
Tea
Extra Lean Chipolata, with veggies
Snack
Berry, jelly and yoghurt
4 x cups of tea
1 x cappuccino
2 litres water
Sat 18th of June
Breakfast
Shake and Fibre
Snack
Small salad
Lunch
Eggs and Bacon
Snack
Hand-full of Dried fruit
Tea
Steak and Veggie Kebabs with cauliflower mash
Home-Made low fat, fruit and Jelly pudding
Snack
Home-Made low fat mini muffin sized date muffin.
1 x cappuccino
5 x tea
1 litre of Water
Shake and Fibre
Snack
Small salad
Lunch
Eggs and Bacon
Snack
Hand-full of Dried fruit
Tea
Steak and Veggie Kebabs with cauliflower mash
Home-Made low fat, fruit and Jelly pudding
Snack
Home-Made low fat mini muffin sized date muffin.
1 x cappuccino
5 x tea
1 litre of Water
Friday 17 June 2011
16th and 17th of June
Sorry about missing two days.
Thursday 16th of June
Today I walked around the shopping centre for a couple of hours lol.
breakfast
Shake and Fiber
Lunch
Salad and roast beef
Tea
Veggies and Extra Lean Chipolatas
2 x Cappuccino
1.5 Liters of water (oops)
Tea x 4
Friday
Breakfast
Brunch Bar
Snack
Apple
Lunch
Salad and Turkey
Tea
Steak and Veggies
2 x Cappuccino
3 x tea
1.5 liters of Water.
Well today I had my hair cut and coloured, I am currently toying with a faux Hawk. Nothing like having a hair cut that makes people stare when you have anxiety about people looking at you.
What I have found hard about the last two days is that I have been caught up with friends and different activities and I haven't exercised as much. I think I am going to have to look at really planning my day a bit more, and that I may actually have to start getting up earlier and doing some stuff in the morning before everyone else gets up.
I still feel alot of anxiety exercising around Simon my partner, I know that doesn't make any sense, he sees me naked on a regular basis, we have a kid together lol. I just feel that me sweating and jiggling must be such a turn off, so I feel nervous about it.
This weekend is the weekend we have all of the kids here ( I have 3 kids, Simon has 2 kids and we have 1 together, so yep all up there is 6 kids). I tend to get in a negative space on this weekend as there are a few issues between myself and one of Simon's kids and it can make the weekend very difficult for all of us.
I will be back later tonight to report on today.
Danielle xox
Thursday 16th of June
Today I walked around the shopping centre for a couple of hours lol.
breakfast
Shake and Fiber
Lunch
Salad and roast beef
Tea
Veggies and Extra Lean Chipolatas
2 x Cappuccino
1.5 Liters of water (oops)
Tea x 4
Friday
Breakfast
Brunch Bar
Snack
Apple
Lunch
Salad and Turkey
Tea
Steak and Veggies
2 x Cappuccino
3 x tea
1.5 liters of Water.
Well today I had my hair cut and coloured, I am currently toying with a faux Hawk. Nothing like having a hair cut that makes people stare when you have anxiety about people looking at you.
What I have found hard about the last two days is that I have been caught up with friends and different activities and I haven't exercised as much. I think I am going to have to look at really planning my day a bit more, and that I may actually have to start getting up earlier and doing some stuff in the morning before everyone else gets up.
I still feel alot of anxiety exercising around Simon my partner, I know that doesn't make any sense, he sees me naked on a regular basis, we have a kid together lol. I just feel that me sweating and jiggling must be such a turn off, so I feel nervous about it.
This weekend is the weekend we have all of the kids here ( I have 3 kids, Simon has 2 kids and we have 1 together, so yep all up there is 6 kids). I tend to get in a negative space on this weekend as there are a few issues between myself and one of Simon's kids and it can make the weekend very difficult for all of us.
I will be back later tonight to report on today.
Danielle xox
Wednesday 15 June 2011
Wed 15th of June
Today has been a bit blah this afternoon I really feel like some carb's, I hate the cravings they really do suck and are so hard to ignore.
Ms Melons and I went for another walk today, I still didn't manage to keep up but my back and hips did feel better today. Melons decided she would up the anty today and that we would do a workout after our walk. We did the beach bum work out that you can find here http://toneitup.fitsugar.com/Beach-Workout--Tone--Up-15358011. Man did it hurt and I couldn't do the exercises like they did I had to modify them a little , and to make it harder my 10month old, Jhett spent the time trying to get the computer and I had to put him on my body while I was trying to do the workout lol. Nothing like trying to lug another 8 kg up and down.
I am still finding that I am feeling tired during the day, but the medication I am currently on one of its side affects is insomnia and I haven't slept well for a few days. I am hoping that will settle down and that I will start to get more energy very soon.
I am proud of myself for keeping things up, in the past I have been one of those people who start the whole weight loss thing but never gets past 2 days, before I go back to sitting on the couch and eating anything and everything in large amounts. I am taking each day as a step in the right direction, a move forward, another day where I can learn something about myself, learn how strong I am and how much I enjoy honouring and rewarding my magnificent body for the abilities it gives me.
breakfast
Tony Ferguson shake with fiber
Snack
Apple
Lunch
Salad with 120grms roast beef
Dinner
Left overs from last night, with a little low fat Tatziki
Snack
Low Fat homemade Veggie Soup
3x cups of tea
2 x Litres of Water.
Good Luck to everyone, and thanks for your support to those that are following me.
Danielle xox
Ms Melons and I went for another walk today, I still didn't manage to keep up but my back and hips did feel better today. Melons decided she would up the anty today and that we would do a workout after our walk. We did the beach bum work out that you can find here http://toneitup.fitsugar.com/Beach-Workout--Tone--Up-15358011. Man did it hurt and I couldn't do the exercises like they did I had to modify them a little , and to make it harder my 10month old, Jhett spent the time trying to get the computer and I had to put him on my body while I was trying to do the workout lol. Nothing like trying to lug another 8 kg up and down.
I am still finding that I am feeling tired during the day, but the medication I am currently on one of its side affects is insomnia and I haven't slept well for a few days. I am hoping that will settle down and that I will start to get more energy very soon.
I am proud of myself for keeping things up, in the past I have been one of those people who start the whole weight loss thing but never gets past 2 days, before I go back to sitting on the couch and eating anything and everything in large amounts. I am taking each day as a step in the right direction, a move forward, another day where I can learn something about myself, learn how strong I am and how much I enjoy honouring and rewarding my magnificent body for the abilities it gives me.
breakfast
Tony Ferguson shake with fiber
Snack
Apple
Lunch
Salad with 120grms roast beef
Dinner
Left overs from last night, with a little low fat Tatziki
Snack
Low Fat homemade Veggie Soup
3x cups of tea
2 x Litres of Water.
Good Luck to everyone, and thanks for your support to those that are following me.
Danielle xox
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Tuesday 14th of June
Hi everyone
Well I saw the Dr today and he said my back is fine, it is just all the muscles loosening up since they aren't actually use to being used lol. He was also very impressed with my flexibility yeah for me.
I thought it was about time I put some numbers up here.
I am 33 years of age, 6 foot 2 or about 187 cm tall and I weigh 147.7 kg. I am classified in the morbidly obese weight range. My waist is 123cms.
I am glucose intolerant, and my risk of developing type 2 diabetes is extreme. I have already had gestational diabetes and have had to inject insulin when I am pregnant.
I hate that during summer I get heat rash under my fat rolls and between my legs, I hate that I sweat like a pig just walking.
I hate that I can not buy the styles of clothing I would love to wear.
I hate that in my irrational head I shouldn't wear high heels cos I already stand out so much cos I am so fat. I now have a pair of high heels, that my amazing friend Susie bought for me, so I am fighting that irrational thought.
I have found a workout site called bodyrock.tv, I love the host, I could almost consider turning lesbian for her lol. I aim to be able to complete her daily workout sessions.
Well I saw the Dr today and he said my back is fine, it is just all the muscles loosening up since they aren't actually use to being used lol. He was also very impressed with my flexibility yeah for me.
I thought it was about time I put some numbers up here.
I am 33 years of age, 6 foot 2 or about 187 cm tall and I weigh 147.7 kg. I am classified in the morbidly obese weight range. My waist is 123cms.
I am glucose intolerant, and my risk of developing type 2 diabetes is extreme. I have already had gestational diabetes and have had to inject insulin when I am pregnant.
I hate that during summer I get heat rash under my fat rolls and between my legs, I hate that I sweat like a pig just walking.
I hate that I can not buy the styles of clothing I would love to wear.
I hate that in my irrational head I shouldn't wear high heels cos I already stand out so much cos I am so fat. I now have a pair of high heels, that my amazing friend Susie bought for me, so I am fighting that irrational thought.
I have found a workout site called bodyrock.tv, I love the host, I could almost consider turning lesbian for her lol. I aim to be able to complete her daily workout sessions.
As per my name I want to be able to do Roller Derby, so I have started roller skating. I have attached a video so you can all see how far I have to go lol. Sorry it is sideways I still have to play with it and turn it around lol.
I feel like this post has been a bit all over the place, so I am sorry for that lol.
Food Intake
Breakfast
Tony Ferguson Shake with Fiber
Snack
Apple
Lunch
Salad with 120grms shaved lean roast beef
Tea
Lean Mince, with corn, grated carrot, sweet potato, pumpkin, eggplant, broccoli, mushrooms, celery served on steamed cabbage.
Snack
Low fat yoghurt
2 x skim capps
2 x liters of water
Exercise
I did a boxing class on the x-box kinects Your Shape and a Zen class, who would have guessed Zen is an absolute killer lol, but there is a couple of moves that really open up my hips so I am hoping that helps with my hips and back.
Danielle xox
Monday 13 June 2011
1st Day in Hell lol
Well today was my first day of walking with Ms Melons. She keeps up a pace that is for sure. I didn't keep up, I walked behind her lol but I didn't stop, Melons thinks we did about 2 kms. My legs, hips and butt are feeling it that is for sure lol. One thing I did notice was that my stride doesn't feel right, and I have got a bit of lower back pain so I am going to head off to the Doctor tomorrow just to get it checked out. I don't want this to stop me, I have only just started to get something happening. So thinking positive all the way lol.
This afternoon has been hard I have really wanted some carb's and coke. I haven't given in but it has been about mind over mind lol. I am yet to find something that helps to remove/distract the cravings. I might have to look at a post work out pick me up for when I am with Ms Melons.
I am just eating some of my partners brilliant veggie soup for tea but it is just not cutting the mustard, I want some bread or noodles lol or something that I can really feel.
I am happy that I have managed to get thru the day without eating food that I know can be a trap for me. I am trying not to think of food as good or bad, because I always want the bad stuff :). At the moment I am trying out foods that are a trap or foods that support my lifestyle choice. I am also very proud that I managed to get thru my walk, i don't tend to push myself like that and I wasn't sure I could manage.
Food intake Monday 13th of June.
Breakfast
Tony Ferguson Shake with fibre
Lunch
Salad with low fat bacon and egg for protein
Tea
Veggie soup with a little bacon for protein
Snacks
Apple
Yoghurt
3 x cups of tea
2 x litre water.
Well here we come tomorrow
Danielle xox
This afternoon has been hard I have really wanted some carb's and coke. I haven't given in but it has been about mind over mind lol. I am yet to find something that helps to remove/distract the cravings. I might have to look at a post work out pick me up for when I am with Ms Melons.
I am just eating some of my partners brilliant veggie soup for tea but it is just not cutting the mustard, I want some bread or noodles lol or something that I can really feel.
I am happy that I have managed to get thru the day without eating food that I know can be a trap for me. I am trying not to think of food as good or bad, because I always want the bad stuff :). At the moment I am trying out foods that are a trap or foods that support my lifestyle choice. I am also very proud that I managed to get thru my walk, i don't tend to push myself like that and I wasn't sure I could manage.
Food intake Monday 13th of June.
Breakfast
Tony Ferguson Shake with fibre
Lunch
Salad with low fat bacon and egg for protein
Tea
Veggie soup with a little bacon for protein
Snacks
Apple
Yoghurt
3 x cups of tea
2 x litre water.
Well here we come tomorrow
Danielle xox
Sunday 12 June 2011
Food Intake Sunday 12th of June
Breakfast
- Boiled eggs, with short cut no rasher middle bacon, zucchini, baby spinach and cherry tomatoes. All lightly fried with cooking spray in a non-stick pan.
- Chicken noodle and sweet corn soup
- Tuna and veggie stir fry on brown rice.
- Low-fat yoghurt
- 2 litres water
- 1 skinny capp
- 3 cups of tea with skim milk and sweetener
Background and Goals
Thought I should post some background. I want to be able to look back on this blog and see how far I have come.
I have been overweight since I was about 12 I think, before that I was very thin and tall. I don't ever remember a time when I enjoyed exercise. I was always uncoordinated and slow. I was always very self conscious of myself and I don't ever remember feel like I was good enough. I always felt like people were looking at me and thinking "how fat and stupid and dumb and ugly is that idiot". Logically I know I am not that important, dumb, overweight or ugly that everyone is looking at me and thinking those things but that doesn't stop that horrible little voice in my head.
I eat for every emotion there is, and I love all things sweet particularly coke and chocolate. I love pastas and creamy sauces, bread and potatoes. I binge and will often eat until I feel uncomfortable.The thought of eating salad makes me feel uncomfortable.
Food has controlled me for such a long time and has coloured every thought process I have. I am not sure I know how to be me, or who me is without food.
Goals
I am still a little fuzzy on goals.
Big term goals at this stage
Danielle xox
I have been overweight since I was about 12 I think, before that I was very thin and tall. I don't ever remember a time when I enjoyed exercise. I was always uncoordinated and slow. I was always very self conscious of myself and I don't ever remember feel like I was good enough. I always felt like people were looking at me and thinking "how fat and stupid and dumb and ugly is that idiot". Logically I know I am not that important, dumb, overweight or ugly that everyone is looking at me and thinking those things but that doesn't stop that horrible little voice in my head.
I eat for every emotion there is, and I love all things sweet particularly coke and chocolate. I love pastas and creamy sauces, bread and potatoes. I binge and will often eat until I feel uncomfortable.The thought of eating salad makes me feel uncomfortable.
Food has controlled me for such a long time and has coloured every thought process I have. I am not sure I know how to be me, or who me is without food.
Goals
I am still a little fuzzy on goals.
Big term goals at this stage
- Lose 70+kg. I want to go from a size 24/26 to a 12/14.
- I want to play Roller Derby
- I want to enter a body sculpting competition
- I want to be able to run up the 1000 steps.
- I want to like me in my skin
Danielle xox
Saturday 11 June 2011
Well its time to get serious, time to be real and enjoy life, live, be healthy and achieve what I always say I want to, but secretly am to scared to do.
Why am I scared, I might fail, if I am not fat and people deont like me it means they dont like me for who I am not how I look. If I an not fat what do I have to hide behind, whats my excuse. What if I cant achieve/be who I think I want to be, what if I become something I dont like. I know I know all very stupid and pointless but isn't that the case with fear, its often not rational.
This blog is my accountability tool for myself but also for my commando Ms Melons (aka M, lol hope you like your new name). Ms Melons is my inspiration, my support and one of my major tools for change and for that I thank her from the bottom of my heart. I might not be so nice when my body hurts lol.
So my challenges for the next week Monday 13th of June to Sunday 19th of June
Why am I scared, I might fail, if I am not fat and people deont like me it means they dont like me for who I am not how I look. If I an not fat what do I have to hide behind, whats my excuse. What if I cant achieve/be who I think I want to be, what if I become something I dont like. I know I know all very stupid and pointless but isn't that the case with fear, its often not rational.
This blog is my accountability tool for myself but also for my commando Ms Melons (aka M, lol hope you like your new name). Ms Melons is my inspiration, my support and one of my major tools for change and for that I thank her from the bottom of my heart. I might not be so nice when my body hurts lol.
So my challenges for the next week Monday 13th of June to Sunday 19th of June
- 2+ Litres of water every day
- Walk Monday/Wednesday and Thursday
- Cross trainer Sunday/Wednesday and Saturday
- Kinect Your Shape Tuesday and Thursday
- Roller Skating Tuesday
- Blog all food eating honestly everyday.
- No carbs or softdrink
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