Background and Goals

Thought I should post some background. I want to be able to look back on this blog and see how far I have come.

I have been overweight since I was about 12 I think, before that I was very thin and tall. I don't ever remember a time when I enjoyed exercise. I was always uncoordinated and slow. I was always very self conscious of myself and I don't ever remember feel like I was good enough. I always felt like people were looking at me and thinking "how fat and stupid and dumb and ugly is that idiot". Logically I know I am not that important, dumb, overweight or ugly that everyone is looking at me and thinking those things but that doesn't stop that horrible little voice in my head.

I eat for every emotion there is, and I love all things sweet particularly coke and chocolate. I love pastas and creamy sauces, bread and potatoes. I binge and will often eat until I feel uncomfortable.The thought of eating salad makes me feel uncomfortable.

Food has controlled me for such a long time and has coloured every thought process I have. I am not sure I know how to be me, or who me is without food.

Goals

I am still a little fuzzy on goals.

Big term goals at this stage

• Lose 70+kg. I want to go from a size 24/26 to a 12/14.
• I want to play Roller Derby
• I want to enter a body sculpting competition
• I want to be able to run up the 1000 steps.
• I want to like me in my skin

What I am still not sure on is all the in between short term goals.

Danielle xox